10 Things I Have Said to Both My Toddler and My Cats

Turns out, being kitty parents all these years really did prepare us for raising babies of the human variety — more so than I ever expected, as I find myself saying the very same things to our Persians and our toddler.  For example…

10.  “Stop licking me.  It feels weird.”

9.  “Sit still!  There’s poop stuck on your butt.”

8.  “Get off that table!”

7.  “It would make me very happy if you wore this hat and let me take a picture.”

6.  “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

5.  “Ouch.  We need to cut your nails.”

4.  “You have no idea how good your life is.  I wish all I had to do is sleep and eat and play all day.”

3.  “Why won’t you eat your dinner?  I thought you liked chicken!”

2.  “STOP IT — YOU’RE GOING TO WAKE THE BABY!”

1.  “Are you mocking me?”