In celebration of Father’s Day being right around the corner, I’ve come up with a list of things that my dad never, ever would have said to me while I was growing up (or would even say to me now):
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“Can you turn up that music?”
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“Midnight’s a pretty lame curfew. How ’bout 2AM instead?”
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“I LOVE that you got your ears pierced without asking. Such an independent spirit!”
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“That skirt’s a little on the long side, don’t you think?”
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“You know what your room needs? Even MORE clothes piled on top of each other.”
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“Here, take the remote.”
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“I understand why you let your car run out of gas. You have a lot on your mind.”
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“A date with a boy? Here, take 50 bucks to make it extra-romantic.”
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“I think we should watch another episode of ‘Saved by the Bell.’”
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“You need more lipstick.”
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“Look, I’m in no position to judge — your mom and I were too young when we had sex, too!”
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“You’re growing up way too slowly.”
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