Candy Kirby
Facebook isn’t just about keeping in touch with friends with family–it’s also about letting them know how amazing your life is, while cloaking it in fake modesty so you don’t sound like a conceited jerk. To help jump-start your humblebragging, here are eight suggested status updates that will both impress and annoy all who follow you.
- “Our two-year-old can already read and write. Any advice on how to give a genius a ‘normal’ childhood?”
- “Kids only got granola bars for breakfast because I was tired after running four miles this morning.”
- “I can’t believe our son made the honor roll when he missed so much school for all-star baseball.”
- “The bread I made completely from scratch looks a little lumpy in this picture, lol.”
- “I feel bad when other moms tell me their kids are terrible sleepers because Max and Ava have always slept through the night. Don’t know what I did to get so lucky!”
- “Crazy that Parenting Magazine picked me as one of their top 10 bloggers. Wonder how long ’til they realize they made a mistake?”
- “I just got carded buying wine at Whole Foods. AGAIN. So tired of that happening!”
- “Does anybody know how to get chocolate stains off the leather seats of a new Mercedes SUV? That’s the last time I let Jonah eat Kit Kats in the car!”
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