Top 10 Worst Girl Scout Cookie Sales Pitches

Oh yes, it’s that time of year again — time to inhale Thin Mints by the dozen! (Well, you can’t expect me to limit myself to only one… or seven... of those tasty suckers at a time.) Heck, a little girl was even pedaling cookies at the park this weekend, pulling out all the stops by dutifully wearing her uniform and sweetest smile while hitting up all of us sucker parents with her basket of goodies. Evil genius.

But not all Scouts are so clever in their approach, as you’ll see in our list of Top 10 Worst Girl Scout Cookie Sales Pitches:

1. Don’t worry — you’ll only have to run for three hours to burn off a box of Samoas!
2. Did Tagalongs exist when you were a Girl Scout waaaaaaaaay back when? How ’bout electricity?
3. With the money we make, our troop is going to contribute to Justin Bieber’s legal defense fund!
4. Is it just me, or do Thin Mints look like skunk pellets?
5. Gary Busey has offered to oversee the distribution of our earnings!
6. To be honest, I don’t care if you buy any. My mom’s guilting her colleagues into buying a TON of boxes.
7. I think it’s cool how the Do-Si-Dos match the color of Snooki’s skin.
8. With that breath, a box of Thins Mints would do you good.
9. If you buy a box of cookies, you’ll also be automatically added to the Girl Scouts’ twice-daily e-mail distribution list!
10. My dad told me to hit you up because you obviously like to inhale cookies.